Just a few minutes ago, I read this article, and it really struck a chord with me. I highly recommend reading the article itself, as this is not a review of it, but simply my own ramblings about the few parts that stood out the most to me in relation to all of life, not just Christmas time.
In the article, the author, Arthur C. Brooks, states 3 practices that he suggests can help us lead good lives with a normal amount of stuff, but where we aren’t overly attached to our material possessions. First is to collect experiences, not things. When I was about 14, my dad said that for either Christmas or his birthday, he wanted us to come up with something for each of us to do with him, instead of getting him a gift. At the time, I could see how he might want that--he could buy anything he wanted, an didn't have a list. Sentimental, or something, I guessed. However, now that I look at my life, where I am right now, I can see exactly what the author, and my dad, are talking about--and I actually think it’s one of the greatest points of frustration in my life, at the moment.
I’m newly married, and, as a result, we are trying to get our house in order, so that we don’t need to think, “Oh, we need to get a _____ when we get the chance”. If we get everything essentially in order now, then we wont’ have it to worry about, because, if we’re being honest, though we could just leave things exactly as they are now, that doesn’t create the sort of environment hat we are hoping to have for the next 5 or 10 years. In the article, Brooks mentions how a couple may decide between getting a new couch, or taking a second honeymoon. Pause.
In my mind--whether it’s the way I was brought up, or what I’ve constructed for myself I cannot tell--the obvious choice is the couch. As he points out, the obvious choice is the couch. It will last longer. Also, doesn’t a ‘second honeymoon’ seem excessive; that’s not just a typical vacation. Wrong! So, so very wrong. Now, this is not suggesting that if you have an old couch with all the life taken out of it, and there’s no place to sit now, that you should instead take a lavish vacation. However, he is saying something that I still wouldn’t have thought there was a question in before today. You take the vacation. Yes, the couch may be around for many years, but, when you’re old, you’re not going to look back with fond memories of the couch! Taking the second honeymoon trip will be a means for new experience and memories that you can share and reflect on literally forever--you will always have that with you. Can’t really say the same about a couch...Not bad news to those of us who love to travel to new places, wondrous places!
Here’s where we get into the rest-of-life application. I’m finishing up my 5th and final year of college right now. It’s been a rich experience, and I’ve learned a ton--stuff I wouldn’t have been able to any other way (but that’s another story, I suppose). Despite this, I feel the weight of 5 straight years (no summers off) of college work, and, to be honest, it feels a bit restricting now. On the one hand, that’s probably good, I won’t be sorry to be done when I finally do graduate. However, I almost constantly feel the stress of doing requirements, instead of experiencing things. I feel as if I am (only very partially) full of knowledge and ideas, but am not doing anything with them--how can I when there’s only time to homework, and spend time with Todd (which there would always be more of)? Don't get me wrong here, though, I am aware of how unique an experience my education is. It's just that it is more learning than doing, see? I"m finally ready for more doing.
This article helped me realize that I’m not being stupid--feeling as if I’ve learned but not done much. No, instead, I’m searching for what I ought to be--experiences. I want to do things. Recently, I’ve thought of seeing if there wouldn’t be a way to get back into community theatre, though it appears, out here at least, everything is for children, and children that could be on Broadway, if they wanted to be. I want to take up singing lessons again. I want to teach Zumba. I want to, possibly, create a huge thesis-type blog project (if I can first get the website how I want after 1 class :) ). I want to write stories--screenplays--and to make vlogs and sketch comedy for YouTube with my dream team (Todd and Seth, obviously). I want to be like my mom, and decorate our house. I want to read, and read, and read away, at least some, of my ignorance! So many things! I just have to keep telling myself that it’ll come....it’s not hardly helpful at all, but school’s supposed to end eventually, yes?
Okay, moving onto the second point, steer clear of excessive usefulness. This sort of feels like it goes along with the whole college thing, too, but I’ll drop that. Basically, what Brooks talks about is how we can know all manner of interesting things, or have all sorts of specialty gadgets, but we need to spend our time actually doing things, instead of just focusing on things that will help us do things. to side-step the school example, I’ll give another. Let’s say I want to make this giant blog project thing. I first need to make a website (because want to--not because Blogger wont’ suffice). However, if I decide I need way more knowledge than I have, and more than I can understand from Googling, and take years more or classes first, then I’m sort of wasting my time. yes, I am learning, and that’s valuable, but all I’m doing is learning, and never creating anything. He points out that it’s been shown that people are happier when they make things just because they want to, rather than because they are obligated to.
Interestingly, this is a topic that Todd and I talk about on a fairly regular basis. He and I are very similar in that we both place a good amount of value on doing personal projects--singing, making videos, making board or computer games. Unfortunately, it has become very clear that almost none of our peers feel the same way. I think I ought to clarify two things here. First, of most our friends are at least somewhat creative types who like to play games, and come up with ideas for video or story, etc. Second, They have come up with ideas they themselves have said they would be interested in bringing to life. The sad part is that when we get excited, and want to get on board, or when they express great interest (talking about it, and how to go about it for hours) in one of our ideas, that’s as far as it gets.
Todd is a computer science nerd with a passion for video games (not in the traditional sense, though; he rarely agrees with the majority of ‘gamers’). Asa result, he’d really like to get a team of friends together to make something sort of Indie, and really fun and new. However, he has actually gone through all of his friends--they either do not have the skills (i.e. Me), or, when push comes to shove, they place the value of an individual project below that of doing just their day job and watching Netflix. That sounds cold, and I’m not really trying to be. Todd and I love Netflix a lot. Furthermore, at the end of the day, or week, Todd is as tired as anyone else, and just wants a break. Regardless, he’d still like something of his own (created with friends) to think about, and to get really excited over. This article talks about that, and we’ve noticed it ourselves. Doing things just because you think they’d be fun, is incredibly valuable (and playing board games does not fall under this). What we’re talking about here are things where you must learn, and work at something. How do some many young people place the value of an unpaid, yet exciting, personal project below that of not doing much of anything in spare time?
Finally, and I suggest reading the article for the full story/explanation of this last one, prioritize Truth over worldly things. As Brooks puts it, get to the center of the wheel. For me, this would be of religious nature--keeping Christ at the center. However, this can also include (for me) any part of spirituality. Look for those things that you know are true and good, unmoving, and unswayed by time and popular political opinion. If you keep these things as your center, then you will always have a stable point with which to look at everything else against. Without such, there is not much to hold onto. I think one of the best ways to find this for yourself is to start pondering yourself, who you are, where you come from, and where you want to go, what you want to be like. Decide now what’s most important to you, instead of waiting for ultimatums, or for your life to be spiraling around, because you did not have anything in the center of it all to hold it down.
Alright. That was way longer than I anticipated. Read the article; it’s wonderful. Those are my two cents, or several dollars worth, I suppose.
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