So, You Wanna Start Babywearing?

Most people who know me know I love babywearing! As a result, I’ve had several people come to me with questions about babywearing, and, just to be safe, i thought I’d just write up an entire blog post with the information I have—that way it’s an easy reference, and I can send it on to others in the future.

So, you want to start babywearing?

The world of babywearing is incredibly vast, and there are several different kinds of carriers, which can fulfill different purposes. This post will primary be about the different carriers, although a few will link away to other posts about specific carriers that I’ve tried. This will also be highly peppered with my own personal opinions and preferences, but they are just my opinions. A few of these carriers will link away to more in-depth posts, too.

Let’s start with a little briefing though:

With any baby carriers, you want baby to be completely supported knee-to-knee—not just supported by the crotch—with their head close enough to kiss (with airways free). Though a very few carriers allow an okay setup for outward facing, it’s best for baby to face the wearer. 

So what kinds of carriers are there?

Soft Structured Carriers/Buckle Carriers (SSC): When people think about wearing their babies, they often think about these. In general, these are the kinds of carriers you saw growing up, and that you’ll see most often out and about. The way you adjust them can vary from brand to brand, but you almost always have an adjustable waist strap, back strap, and straps under the arms, to get that perfect fit.

Pros:

-The seat (where baby’s bum is) is already made for you, and baby won’t be able to get out of it

-These are probably the easiest carriers to learn how to use

Cons:

-Can look a bit clunky. Not all brands have a bulky look, but with the shoulder padding, and suck pads, and other padding, they can have a lot going on

-There are so many SSC out there. if you don’t know what to look for, you can end up with a pretty mediocre carrier

-If you and your partner vary quite a bit in side, like me and my husband do, switching who carries baby can be a nuisance adjusting all the buckles

What to look for:

-Good knee-to-knee support, as there are tons that are not really appropriate

-Shoulder straps that fit you well (different brands work better for narrower or broader shoulders)

-A carrier that adjust well to your body type (I’ve used one that fit my husband super well, and it worked okay for me with a front carry, but was far too large for me with a back carry)

SSC brands:

-Happy Baby. These are, in my opinion, the best looking SSC out there right now. They aren’t at all bulky, and are make of linen, so they are super breathable. And they’d work great in winter, because they aren’t overly padded themselves, which would work great with heavier clothing.

-Kinderpack. I’ve modeled a bit for Kinderpack, and they have very comfortable shoulder pads. They do border on a bit bit for me in the shoulders, but I’ve super narrow. They have a large variety of prints, too.

These next two, I’ve not had any experience with, but I’m very curious, and they’re similar to SSC, so I thought I’d include them here.

Sakura Bloom Scout: This is just like a SSC, but the waistband is like a ring sling. I feel like this could be easier when switching between partners, but I’m also just sort of anti-buckle.

Pros:

-Just like SSC, the seat is made, and it has a waist belt

-The waist band might be easier to adjust between partners

-Sleeker look than a regular SSC

Cons:

-The waist band’s tail is longer

Onbuhimo: Like a SSC, these have a seat ready for you to put your baby in, and have two shoulder straps, but they don’t have a waist belt. This could be more or less comfortable for you depending on your preferences. My husband likes waist belts, where I don’t. These are also great for anyone with anything going on in the tummy areas (such as pregnancy), as there is nothing there to get in the way on this type of carrier.

Pros:

-Less parts to deal with when putting on/easier to adjust

-Mostly-made seat

Cons:

-All weight on shoulders

-figuring out the seat take s a little work

Onbuhimo brands:

-Sakura Bloom. Theirs were what initially turned me onto this type of carrier. They are beautiful, but come with a less beautiful price tag.

-Lenny Lamb. When I hear about Onbuhimos online, I always hear commendations for Lenny Lamb, so they must be doing something right.

Meh Dai: This is exactly like a SSC, but with woven wrap style tails for the waist belt and shoulder straps. Personally, I love these, and this is my hiking carrier of choice. There are so many ways you an tie off the shoulder straps—you get the flexibility of a woven wrap, but with the seat of a SSC. This is very helpful for trips where baby might throw a fit, but you need their seat to not pop.

Pros:

-Pre-made seat

-Wrap tails for shoulder straps and waist strap, allowing you to make it as secure as you need it, as well as doing different finished (tie offs)

-Straps require no adjusting when switching between partners!

Cons:

-Wrap tails are long, and will drag the ground when you tie them

-You will have to learn at least one way to tie the shoulders (though it’s not hard)

Meh Dai Brands:

-Fidella (Fly Tai). This is the one I’ve used the most, and it’s very comfortable, and even has some padding in the shoulders.

Woven wraps: Here comes my favourite! Woven wraps absolutely the most flexible carrier out there. They come in a huge variety of lengths, and fabrics. Women all over the world (up until the stupid Victoria Era) carried their babies like this. This type of carrier has the steepest learning curve, but it is so worth it. It’s not that hard—you don’t have to be super fancy! If you’re looking for a baby-related hobby/art this will also help you out there. A good wrap job means practice, and it’s definitely more impressive than just throwing on a SSC. There are tons of youtube tutorials for different carriers, as well (check out Wrap You in Love).

Pros:

-Huge room for flexibility. Short wraps are easy to travel with, but long ones allow for super supportive/unpoppable carrier

-They are made of all sorts of things: 100% cotton, tri-blends, you name it! Plus, a wide variety of patterns means you’ll probably find something you love

-There’s 

-You get to connect to generations of mothers before you, carrying your baby the same way

-Woven wraps can also be made into ring slings, onbuhimos, meh dais, etc. So you can get the carrier you prefer in the colorway/fabric blend you like best

Cons:

-Steeper learning curve

-The information (about sizing, materials, brands) can seem overwhelming at first

-You may still want another carrier, if your partner doesn’t want/have the time to learn

-If baby is really wanting down, they may “pop” their seat, and you’ll have to re-wrap, or take them out

What to look for:

-Here is my own post, a digest for this information, featuring the links where I learned my stuff

Woven Wrap Brands:

-Didymos. A classic. Established, and with a variety of colorways, blends, and prices, you’re sure to find something you love from them; and they’re great quality

-Pavo. Also has some reasonably-priced, nice quality wraps.

There are SO MANY woven wrap brands, I can’t list all the ones that have beautiful wraps. Each brand has it’s own style, and, if you get into it, you’ll find something you love!

Ring Slings: These have honestly been my go-to with my baby (even though I think wraps are the best). Like an Onbuhimo, they may only be comfortable for so long, depending on how heavy your baby is. But they are also the most convenient carrier. If you don’t just have a woven wrap converted into a ring sling, you can get your ring sling from a brand that focuses on those. Usually those companies have chambray (linen or linen/cotton where the threads are dyed before being woven. That’s all it means), linen (dyed after, and somehow slightly thicker/less slippy?), double chambray or linen (made from two thinner pieces of fabric), or 1.5 (made form one thicker piece of fabric). Some have Matka silk, and Dupioni silk, too. Plus, most companies do extra long length slings, if regular don’t leave you with enough tail, or if you’d like to back carry.

Pros:

-Can wear it around, even without baby in it

-Easy to use

-Great for long trips where you don’t have room to use a long woven comfortably

-Perfect for days with lots of putting baby up and down, because it’s so quick

-Looks very minimal and clean

        -Can back, side, and, of course, front carry in them

        -Can be used newborn to 35 lbs! Great if you don't want very many carriers!

Cons:

-A little learning curve to figure out the rings, and the seat (the seat is just like in wovens)

-Only one shoulder, so can strain it if you’ve got a heavy baby/wear all day

-Can hurt shoulder if you don’t cap it right.

Ring Sling Brands:

-Proverbs31Heart. Maranda, the owner, is amazing, and so sweet. He slings are the very softest I’ve ever used, and she is an amazing communicator. I also hear her packaging now has wildflower seeds in it, so that’s also awesome.

There’s a million others: Sakura Bloom, True North, Vienna Springs, Hope & Plum, to name a few.

Stretchy Wraps: These are things like Solly, Moby, etc. They are super stretchy, so more forgiving that wovens, but worn similarly to wovens. This is what I used for my baby, because I was a bit intimidated by wovens.

Pros:

          -Good if you want to use wovens, but want to start with something more forgiving (though that's totally unnecessary, as plenty of wovens are easy to use, and have some stretch)

          -Easy to get, as they are all one size

Cons:

          -Not really necessary if you want to use wovens

          -Only truly work well up to about 12 lbs

          -can only be used for one carry safely

Stretchy Brands:

                         -Moby, or Solly. They are established, but, again, there are better, more cost-effective options, and I personally don't feel like these offer enough to bother much with.

There’s the basic rundown on carriers. I’ll be editing/adding the aside pages soon! I hope this helps! Happy babywearing!

Labour Story (Both Perspectives)

The following is my labour story. It’s completely uncensored, so, caution, I guess. I try not to be scary. I just am telling it exactly as I experienced it so I can remember. Following is Todd's POV.

Lindsay:

 Somewhere around 5:00/5:30 pm on Saturday, October, 1st, I started feeling what I figured were probably just Braxton Hicks contractions. Just for fun, I thought I’d use my contraction counter app. Unusually, I kept having these for a couple of hours, and was wondering if this was the real deal. I thought maybe I’d know if it was real labour, but it was odd to have so Braxton Hicks for so long.

 Todd and I were watching the anime “Baby Steps”, and decided to just pay close attention to make sure I got each one on the app. We started noticing a pattern. It's funny, because the app kept saying I should pack my bags, or it'd tell me this (go to the hospital now!):

 However, we were going to follow our instructions (on the fridge magnet) to call the midwife hotline when I’d had contractions for at least  an hour, when then they were regularly coming every 5 minutes, and lasted more than a minute. Each surge, just about, I had lasted more than a minute from the start, and, the surges had been coming for a few hours. We just had to get to the 5 minute point.

 Overall, this part of labour was enjoyable. We were getting a little excited that this could actually be happening now. We just kept tracking the surges, and hanging out, waiting. Mostly, the surges were totally fine, though some started feeling like bad menstrual cramps. Except better--I was cocky--because they didn’t last as long as my bad cramps used to. Overall, it was just good vibes all around, hanging with the cat in the dark living room. In fact, I even put on some very light makeup (to look slightly better after birth)

 At about 10:45 pm, I had Todd call the midwife hotline, as we had an entire screen on the contraction counter of 5-minute-apart surges. The midwife on call, Katya (who had done most of my prenatal checkups), said that, yes, these did sound like the real deal. Since I seemed to be feeling alright, however, she suggested I try to sleep, or take a hot shower.

 Well, I wasn’t really able to sleep, because I was trying to keep track of the surges. Finally, I got up to take a hot shower, and the water did feel really good. Todd stood by to keep tracking my surges. After a little bit, the water wasn’t really doing so much, and I had Todd call the midwife, again. At this point, the surges were pretty bad most of the time.

 Katya told us it’d take 30 minutes for her to arrive at the birth center, and told us to meet her then. So, we gathered up the last couple of items (I had a sticky note on the door. Things I needed to use daily, so couldn’t pack until the last minute like, my hairbrush), and headed out. Wendy was a bit confused, understandably. I made Todd take my final pregnancy picture, just because.

 Getting to the birth center was pretty easy, considering the time. When we arrived at the birth center, I kept having surges, and had my vitals checked. Then, Katya checked to see where things were. I was 80% effaced--great--and the baby’s position was a 0--which means she’s ready to go. However, I was only dilated to a...wait for it…..1. Yup. She ran through a few options with me, and we decided that, with me being so not-dilated, we should just have me take some pain pills to help me sleep (sort of pausing things). The hope was that, in 3-4 hours, I’d wake up, and things would be farther along. We joked about trying to stay ‘zen’ and how not-zen I was, and then we left.

 When we got home, I dutifully got into bed to try and sleep. Unfortunately, the contractions were still picking up in intensity, and, as it turns out, laying down made the surges so much worse for me. I mean, they were really unpleasant. Todd wanted to have me go through some hypnobirthing exercises by myself, but I didn’t want to do that. I was not feeling very good, and I didn’t want to be doing this alone. We hadn’t practiced Todd’s hypnobirthing birth coach stuff, and that sort of manifested itself at this point. He became agitated, you could say, because he wasn’t sure what to do about the amount of pain I was in, and felt we should be where there were people that did know what to do. Finally, the surges were just too much to bear laying down, and Todd called the midwife, again.

 Since I couldn’t sleep (and, thus, wasn’t saving energy), she had us come in again, for ‘real’ this time. Wendy, obviously, was even more confused. I was surprised, when I got up, to find that my legs and arms were shaking, and my teeth were chattering. We definitely wanted to get to the birth center. The drive this time was even easier, because there were no cars on the road at all.

 We had Katya, and three student midwives there. Again, they checked my vitals, and Katya announced that I had dilated more...but only to a 2. So, we did a membrane sweep. It was unpleasant, but moreso just because I was having surges. That brought me to a 4.

 As it turned out, they didn’t have a doula on hand, like I had requested, so the student, Summer,  who would normally be the second at the birth was going to be my doula. Boy was she a life-saver. Had I interviewed people for that job, I could have picked her out myself. She knew exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to say it.

 For ‘starters’, I sat on a birth ball. After a bit, I changed positions on the ball, but the pain was soon uncomfortable enough that one of the other students, El, asked if I’d like to try some other positions on the bed. I definitely wasn’t going to lay down on my side again, but I did go hands and knees.

 Honestly, at this point, I was a bit surprised at how strong the surges were (little did I know haha), that I was starting my make a bit of noise. The students had me make lower moans, instead. I found, throughout the entire birth, as I did these on occasion, that I just never really got into them. I’ve read about a lot of women who are surprised about how much the primal noises helped them, but it wasn’t really my thing. Though I think it probably helped some, either way.

 After a while (Todd recently informed me that it was about an hour. I thought it was about 15 minutes), they asked if I wanted to get in the jacuzzi tub. I agreed. That sounded great. And it was.

 As soon as I got in that hot tub, my pain was reduced somewhere, I estimate, between 25 and 45%. It was great. I was still having uncomfortable surges, though, so I had Todd put pressure on my lower back each time. Summer kept reminding me to take big breaths, and I had the other two students giving me juice, water, and a granola bar intermittently. During this time, I think it was, they had Todd go get some food, and maybe a nap. A student took his place, though she wasn’t putting pressure on my lower back. I found it was okay, however, because I just needed to focus on the feeling on something that wasn’t the surges.

 Later, the students went to--I suppose--eat, and take a short break, since I was settled a bit in the tub. I had finally started to get in a groove with my breathing, and my own, sort of ‘tailored’ version of Hypnobirthing. Basically, I just recalled a few of my favourite affirmations (i.e. “My birth will be easy, because I am so relaxed and confident”). I was able to stay calm, and get through my surges like this for a couple of hours. Turns out, Todd was on the floor by me the whole time--I didn’t know.

 When my birth team returned to the room, they had me go to the bathroom, and they emptied, and refilled the tub with more hot water. I was still super shaky, now that I was out of the tub, and had a hard time going to the bathroom, because of it.

 Then, Katya checked me again, and found that I was at a 6 now, which was great, because, apparently, after a sweep, it’s common for the labouring mother’s body to take a while to catch up to the amount that she’s dilated. I was right on track, though! It wasn’t until this check that my mucus plug came out (part of the reason that I wasn’t sure I was in labour back at 5 pm).

 From here, the surges were starting to pick up a little, but I had a method down, and I could handle it. I had a few bites of oatmeal, along with the other food I’d been having, as well as water and coconut water (I wonder if that’ll always remind me of birthing now).

 After even more tub sitting, for who knows how long, I...felt something. I wasn’t sure--it wasn’t a very noticeable sensation. I said that either my water broke, or I had peed. My team said either was fine. Turns out, it was my water breaking. And, boy, did my surges get so much worse after that.

 Up to that point, I had a sort of pattern I saw of them in my mind, white with black spots. I’d have a bad bit of surge, slightly less bad one, slightly more bad, a slightly less, and then a series of less bad ones, all about the same intensity. That was for each surge. However, now, when the surge finished, it’d come again, so I’d have two of these, one right after another. I ket rolling my head, very slightly, in a figure-eight…I regretted doing that with my hair in a bun for the next few days.

 My legs started shaking again, as the water had grown more lukewarm (which was fine for the rest of my body). The shaking was so bad, it was uncontrollable. I had to have Todd hold them, because I couldn’t keep my lower body from freaking out otherwise. I had the midwives add more hot water, and that immediately fixed the problem.

 A while later, I felt the urge to push. Kind of. I wasn’t actively pushing, but I felt like all my pushing muscles were stuck ‘on’, and I had terrible lower back pain. This entire time, I’d been lying like any bather might, on my back. They suggested I turn to my side, which was so unpleasant. After a moment, I changed to be on my knees at the front of the tub. This helped a little. I felt like I had a poo, and a baby trying to get out, and I wasn’t sure which would win. The midwives told me either was fine. It was just the pressure from the baby, luckily, no competing poo. Every time I had a surge, my team was ready to catch a baby.

 But, it turns out, I wasn’t quite to that point yet. Through this time, the were using their waterproof ultrasound monitor thing to check the baby’s heart-rate. The entire time, it’d been perfect, but it was just a tad off, and so they had me get out of the squat position (after that, it was back to perfect!). Also, Katya wanted to check me again, because, if I was all ready, but only 90% effaced, I could be there for a few more hours, and would need to conserve energy. I got back on my back, and had another surge...then another. I couldn’t let her check, because I wasn’t getting a break. After a few more, it seemed like maybe they weren’t going to stop at all. I was right about that. She finally was just going to check anyway, when I said I was pretty sure the baby was coming. I had intense pressure on my pelvic region, and less pain other places, now.

 So, Katya checked, and--yup!--I was right. Baby was, like, a knuckle away from coming out. My body continued to use push muscles involuntarily, so Summer had me take a deep breathe in, hold it, and use that force to push, while curling my back like a cat. I would do this two or three times a surge, and, sometimes, my body would do one or two more on its own, too.

 I started asking every few surges how things were looking, and kept being told I could feel, if I wanted. But I didn’t want.

 After what seemed like a lot of great surges, I felt like I must have the baby out to her eyes, but was told--excitedly--that about three inches of her head was visible. I was a bit disappointed. This kept happening. I’d be sure I could feel her nose, or whatever (which I probably could, in my pelvis), but I’d only been making a little more progress. It was normal, but I thought it should be going to much faster.

 Finally, I got to that ‘ring of fire’ bit. Aptly named….it was surprising how fast and hard it came on. However, I will say this. I just felt like a bigger version of a spicy poo. You know, like, after you eat a lot of spicy food. So, bad, but I just pushed through it as fast as possible.

 Once the baby’s head was born, I thought it took 30 seconds to a couple minutes to get out her body, but Todd has told me it was more like 10 seconds. I was so uncomfortable--I’d gotten the head out, and it felt like Katya stuck her hand all the way in and pulled the baby out. I recall her saying to stop pushing for a second, because of something to do with the cord. It was around her entire body in some weird way, but Katya fixed that as soon as the baby was out. Since they didn’t know if that had any effect, the laid her on me, and did mouth-to-mouth just a couple times (this entire process taking maybe 10 seconds, also), and she started screaming. Born at 11:49 am.

 I remember they kept having to pull her up on me, because we were both wet, and she still had the cord attached, but she is a little floppy newborn, and she kept sliding towards the water. The cord stopped pulsing really quickly, though, so they were able to clamp it. Katya asked Todd if he were sure he didn’t want to cut the cord. He didn’t. So, she asked me. I said, not, but then was like, “Wait a minute. Yeah! I just did this hardcore thing. Why not?’ So I did that. With the placenta birthed easily, and the cord cut, I told Todd he should take a picture of me and the baby looking all hardcore in a tub of blood, but he declined.

 Looking around the room, I felt like it looked like I murdered multiple people, but they told me I had ‘hardly lost any blood’--apparently about half a cup. Interesting.

 From there, the midwives asked if I was good to get out, and I was. They took the baby, and helped me to the bed for some skin-to-skin. Katya also checked for bleeding, by pushing on my uterus (this happened multiple times). That didn’t feel very good. It’s interesting that, just for that day, it literally felt like I had a scar left from the placenta. We sat for an hour while the midwives cleaned up the bathroom, but it felt like hardly any time at all. We tried our first breastfeed. Baby turned the tiniest bit little blue, due to her heart still closing up, and having less airflow. But then she pinked right back up.

 They wanted me to go to the bathroom so they could then check for tears. Unfortunately, my body was so, I guess, traumatized by the birth that I could not get it to relax enough down there to pee. I spend many, many minutes of the toilet to no avail. So, they decided to check for tears anyway. Also, around this time, they checked the baby out, and she was perfect.

 I only had one small one, and several tiny skin tears (cosmetic things). So they were going to fix all that, because they figured I’d be happier that was, in the end. But, first, they were going to have to stick a catheter on me, because I really needed to pee. That was uncomfortable. Weirdly enough, hardly anything came out with that, and there was still a good amount left, but they had removed the catheter after doing everything they could so, yeah.

 Before stitching me up, Katya needed to numb me...for times. Here’s the thing. I’m okay with allergy shots in my arms. But needled in my elbow pits, etc. just really, really freak me out. I don’t know why. So I kind of broke down. I just didn’t have any brave juice left.

 That’s when I agreed to have them bring out the nitrous oxide (laughing gas). I held a student’s hand, and took in several gulps. It made my head feel too light, but I took more, because I was about to get stuck 4 times with giant needles! It helped. Anytime I started to use me non-chill logic brain, I took more gas. I told lots of jokes. All old to Todd, but they midwives sure thought I was funny on the gas. What they don’t know is that it didn’t make me funnier--I’m always that funny--it just made me quicker. I also took comedically timed gulps of gas.

 The numbing totally worked, which was great, and the stitching--which took forever, it felt like--didn’t hurt. I could feel the thread, though. It felt like someone was pulling something through my butt. Definitely less bad than the Hep. B test I had to actually stick up my butt the week before, I informed the entire room. Towards the end of this process, I was really aggravated, because I had to pee SO. BAD. They said I could pee right there, but I didn’t think I was really able to just pee on the bed laying down like that. My body wasn’t that chill. But, man, did I have to pee.

 When the stitching was finally completed, I was able to go to the bathroom, because, numbing = no pain there. Then, I got to hold my baby again, while Todd filled out paperwork.

 To my surprise, the midwives all said they were impressed with how zen I was. In fact, Summer said they put my on a pedestal--the poster child for zen hypnobirthing, because I had been able to quietly, calmly labour alone for so long. That made me feel better, because, whenever they said I was doing well, I wondered how much of a lie that was (when I was struggling). But apparently I did great!

 It was 3:30 pm, and our checkout time was 7pm, and they gave us our parting information. We had an on-call nurse there who could help us with anything we needed. After getting a small snack, and relaxing for an hour, we decided we could do so more comfortably at home--why stay much later?--and wanted to drop off my placenta for encapsulation by 5. So, at 4L30, we had (very poorly) dressed the baby, and headed out.

 From the first surge to baby’s birth was 18 hours and 15 minutes. It still boggles my mind. I am so happy with the birth experience we had, and wouldn’t change anything about it (except for the amount of time I laboured, of course :) ). The environment, and my birthing team were phenomenal.

And that’s the story of how I had our baby.

Todd:

On the evening of Saturday, October 1st, 2016, Lindsay started to having cramping sensations. This was fine, she'd been having "practice" contractions for a couple weeks before this, and so neither of us thought much of it. The two of us continued to watch a sports anime called Baby Steps (good show, very cute, very inspiring), and it wasn't until the contractions hadn't stopped after five or six episodes that we began to wonder if this might be the real deal. Both of us were in denial, so we laughed it off as just a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions. It wasn't until we'd watched another four episodes of the show that we started to get serious.

We were both in good spirits. While the contractions had caused Lindsay some discomfort, she hadn't complained of anything being particularly painful. "If these are contractions," we thought, "then birth will be easy for us!"

Hahahahahah. Hilarious.

It was about 10:45 PM when we first called the midwives and asked them if this sounded like legit labor. Katia calmly reassured me that, "Yes, that does sound like a thing." We both got all antsy and excited, but Katia told us to just keep hanging out until the contracts started to be painful. We dutifully obliged and watched another few episodes of Baby Steps. This whole time, I was feeling pretty zen. I was actually looking forward to the baby coming, because Lindsay had been complaining a lot. I was ready for her body to get back to normal so that she could enjoy living again, and a baby sounded like a fun bonus.

It wasn't until around 2 AM that I began to realize how long my night was going to be. It was at about that time that Lindsay began to feel pains in her body that made her concerned. I was also concerned, because Lindsay was making sure that I was. If I tried to be calm and cool, she would make sure that I wasn't by telling me how horrible she felt. After a few minutes of this we called the midwife. She was in bed, but agreed to meet us in a few minutes at the birthing center.

We show up there at around 2:30 AM with all our stuff, ready to do the things. The midwives checked up on Lindsay and said that she was only barely dilated, and sent us back home to rest for a couple of hours. I was kind of miffed, because I had hauled all that stuff inside, ready to set up camp, and then they just sent us back home. Such a bother.

Anyway, we were supposed to try and rest a while at home, but Lindsay was in too much pain for that. We ended up lying on the bed, trying to do hypnobirthing exercises while Lindsay slowly slid down a panic spiral. Nothing I tried to calm her down was helping, and I started to get frustrated. The more frustrated I got, the more I realized that I was not properly equipped for the situation I was experiencing. I was alone, at home, with someone who was in lots of pain, and going through childbirth. Nothing had really prepared me properly for this moment. The hypnobirthing classes had conveniently not talked in great detail about the actual experience of labor, instead choosing to focus on coping mechanisms. So I got kind of scared and cranky and had to go sit alone in the dark for a few minutes. This made Lindsay even more upset. Suffice it to say, things were going pretty badly.

Somehow we bungled along for another two hours until it was around 4 AM, and Lindsay told me to call the midwives again. She hadn't been able to sleep at all, as they had suggested, and so we headed back to the birthing center.

Upon arrival, Katia informed us that Lindsay was slightly more dilated, but still not all that far along, so they did a "membrane sweep." Lindsay didn't really like that at all and I found it kind of invasive, but it did double her dilation, so I guess that was a plus.

Next they moved us into the bed room, and propped Lindsay up on an exercise ball. She was not a happy camper at this moment, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I watched, observed, and encouraged, but I'm not really sure how much good I was doing. We did that for a, I don't know, maybe another hour or two, and then Lindsay said she wanted to get in the tub.

They filled up a great big tub and put Lindsay in it. I was pretty sleepy by now, considering that I hadn't slept at all that night, and one of the midwife staff suggested I could go lie down for a while. I took a forty minute nap, and then came back and kneeled next to Lindsay. She held my hand, but it was pretty obvious that she had zoned out into some other place, which was good, because when she thinks back to it, she doesn't really know exactly how much time passed.

From time to time the midwives would come check on how things were going for Lindsay, and offer us juice and stuff. I had an OJ. It tasted like OJ.

At some point I decided to lie down on the bathroom floor and doze, using a couple of kneeling pads for a pillow. We probably stayed like that for a two or three hours, I'm not exactly sure. Evidently Lindsay didn't even know I was there, I found out later, so I may as well have gone and slept in the bed. Hindsight.

There came a point, where I had decided to sit back up, when Lindsay looked quite alarmed and told me that she thought her water had broken. I was too tired to be alarmed, so I calmly, in a sort of haze, went and told the midwives. They all got very excited and started hustling and bustling about before everyone packed into the bathroom.

Evidently they thought Gwendolyn was going to come sooner than she did though, because after all the excitement we just kind of hung out in the bathroom for another hour. Now I was positioned next to Lindsay's head, holding her hand as she went through the contractions. With each one she would make some very uncomfortable sounds and squeeze my hand quite hard. This later turned out to be a problem, because she wore out her arms and back from grabbing so hard. Once again, hindsight. I was mostly just an observer for all of this stage. I held Lindsay's hand, but there wasn't really much for me to do other than wait.

Katia kept saying that she wanted to check on the baby's progress, but Lindsay kept interrupting that by having contractions. Once they finally did manage to do a check, Gwendolyn was basically ready to come out. Once again, everyone got all excited, and we waited for longer than we all expected to. This last part was kind of interesting because it was largely dictated by Lindsay's body. During her contractions we helped her as best we could, but then all we could do is sit and wait for the next one.

Eventually Gwendolyn's hair started to show. That was pretty exciting, but it lead to more of the same. More contractions, more encouragement, and more waiting. Lindsay refused to put her hand down to check on Gwendolyn's progress, which I thought was kind of funny, but I wasn't the one giving birth so I didn't say anything.

Not too much later, Gwendolyn's head appeared, and on the next contraction, Katia helped guide the shoulders out. The rest of Gwendolyn's body came out pretty fast after that. It turned out that Gwendolyn's umbilical chord was wrapped around her body, and she came out all purple. This wasn't necessarily a big problem, but the midwives acted pretty urgently to unwrap her and make sure she started breathing by doing some somersaults with her and doing some rescue breathing. I almost started to get anxious, but it all happened so quickly (and my mind wasn't exactly swift at the time). Gwendolyn started crying pretty fast after all that, however, and pinked up nicely, so they put the baby on Lindsay for her to hold. This is where the problem with Lindsay's arms comes into play, because she couldn't actually support Gwendolyn very well.

I was a little concerned with the state of the bathtub after the birth. It had turned all bloody, but the midwives reassured me that it was only about half a cup of blood in all. I still didn't feel very great about that, but Lindsay was acting, ya know, not like she was dying (I wouldn't say she was "ok").

Pretty soon it was time to cut the umbilical chord, and they asked me if I wanted to do it. To be perfectly honest, one of the reasons that I work with computers is that bodies kind of gross me out, so I wasn't exactly excited to do it. Luckily, Lindsay was super into the idea of giving birth completely naturally AND cutting the chord so she did it herself. I think it was one of her more hardcore moments.

Anyway, after Lindsay had held Gwendolyn for a while, they gave the baby to me so that they could do some post birth care on Lindsay. I took Gwendolyn over to the bed and we just hung out for a while. She liked being held very close and tightly at that time, and she fell asleep (evidently being born is pretty tiring for the baby too). I wanted to fall asleep, but I was having more fun just cuddling, so I just chilled out in the bed.

They brought Lindsay in to give her stitches, and I sat next to her on the bed while they did that. Most of her stitches were for superficial or cosmetic reasons, but there was a small tear that needed to be patched up for reals. For some reason, this was the hardest part for Lindsay. She was reluctant to have it done and flinched when they tried to numb her or do the actual stitching so she asked for some laughing gas. She got VERY chatty and started cracking all kinds of sleep deprived jokes, which I found kind of amusing. The midwives eventually managed to put her back together, and then they just let us relax together. 

That's pretty much all there was to it. For me it was mostly just a practice in patience and zen, but I hope that you find something here interesting.

Baby Products Newborn-3 Months

Since we now have a 3 month old, I thought I’d do a round up of all the products we’ve loved form Newborn-3 months, as well as products we shouldn’t have bothered with. Hopefully this is useful to someone. I’ve included links for most items. This is just our experience, as well. We are doing a more attachment parenting approach, low-tech, slightly Montessori, co-sleeping, and breastfeeding.

Yes! List:

• Swaddles: The stretchier the better, because, unlike other kinds, they make getting a tight swaddle easier. We were given this one as a shower gift, and we’ve loved it (Little Unicorn has a lot of great prints, too). I recommend only having 2-3 swaddles total—or none is you just don’t care that they are pretty—however, because:
• Halo Sleepsack: Oh, my gosh. We have a 3-6 month one—just transitioned from swaddles—and oh, my goodness! I’m going to get one more. For baby 2 (f that’s a thing), I will definitely get 2-3 of these for 0-3 as well. You can strap their arms down, or leave them out, Plus, the zipper and velcro make re-swaddling after night-time diaper changes much faster (and requires a lot less effort).
• Burp Cloths: I have a few different kinds. Burt’s Bees, some towel-like ones, and these. Go with the last ones. Not only do they have cute prints, but I found the Burt’s Bees to be very un-absorbent. They are fine for wiping dippy smiles on the changing table, but that’s about it; don’t try any heavy-duty liquid-catching with these. Towel-like ones work alright, but feel dirty quickly. My favourites don’t feel dirty after just one day of light use, and they absorb really well! No grabbing a sopping used cloth.
• Honest Diapers: I went with these for multiple reasons. 1.) I knew several people who use, and love them 2.) They are cheaper to get a diaper bundle and wipes than it would be to just buy some other brand from the store 3.) They arrive at my door, and changing sizes/quantity online is super, super easy 5.) They come in just plain white, and don’t smell like gross baby stuff 6.) They are better for the environment.
• Honest Diaper Rash Cream and Bottom Wash: This rash cream is really good. I like the ingredient list, and it works like a charm. The bottom wash was very useful those first few weeks, when there wasn’t really much redness, but she was pooping a lot. Just kept things nice for her. Our pediatrician even complemented us on how great things looked down there on our first visit. So, I guess we’re expert butt-cleaners on something.
• Blooming Baby Bath: We decided to go with this, because our baby hated laying down for sponge-baths. This allows us to sit her up in the sink—so our backs aren’t hurting—and all the petals provide ample cushioning. Dries quickly, and is machine washable.
• Soft Washcloths: These really are super soft, and get softer each wash. Very gentle for baby, and great make-sift nursing pads for when all of mine are in the wash.
• Footed PJs: Our baby lived in these, specifically from months 1-3. Being a Fall baby, and so young, I didn’t bother dressing her in other clothes 99.8% of the time. Why would I? Putting things over their heads is a pain, and they need to be warm. Just stick to a footy-pajama wardrobe—with a few cute items that you really love.
• Solly Wrap: We went with a reasonably-priced, well-known brand, because we didn't know what baby would think. She didn't love it as a new newborn, but then got to where she enjoyed sleeping on us in the wrap. Now, we mostly use it for walks (we're still saving for a stroller), and I think she'll be much, much more interested once we can face her outward.
• Bouncer: This bouncer is quality (which it ought to be for the price), and looks great in my house (no ugly safari or zoo prints here!). We also got this Flying Friends toy with it. Yes, it doesn’t have a motor for movement (so all you get is you bouncing it, or a baby ab workout), but I am pretty aligned with the “attachment parenting” method, and like that she can use it actively, or we have to be there—instead of setting her up with a machine and walking off; but that’s just me (I’m new). Baby will sit in this and watch us in the kitchen, too, which gives us a nice break. She's also starting to enjoy the toy.
• Baby Gym: I went to Easy to find a more BPS-free/organic-y gym that was also not going to be an eye-sore. This one is gorgeous! Beautiful, and baby loves looking at it, and grabbing the rings! We got our at Christmas, when baby was nearly 3 months old. I had made a very ghetto DIY baby gym before, which she was too young for, so I definitely things getting one in the first month or two isn’t necessary.
• Pregnancy Wedge: I got this for the last 1/3 of my pregnancy, but now, at 3 months old, it’s useful for baby’s tummy time. She prefers being off the flat ground, and, on her back, she can reach the toys on her gym better. Two-use product.
• Receiving Blankets: I’ll be honest, I had no idea what to do with these at first. Every baby items list I read had them on there. All I could gather, though, was that they could be anything….which seemed pointless, because all the things a receiving blanket could do, another item, that was more important and specific, could do better. But wait! After having large amounts of spit up end up in in my cleave age three times, I discovered that a receiving blanket could be tucked under came or bra straps to make a huge burp cloth. No more mess on me. Also, I put them over my nursing pillow, and my waist, to prevent drips, spit on, or splatters from getting on my clothes, or the pillow. Bingo.
• Toys with Big Eyes: My sister gave our baby this for Christmas, and she loves it! This is the first toy she’s shown significant interest in, which is pretty funny. She also likes my husband’s plush Link. We’ve decided it’s the faces on them.
• Outerwear One-Piece: That’s not exactly what we have, but it is a one-piece hooded outerwear with ears. This is one of the best things for a Fall/winter baby. Even is 20-something-degree weather, we can bundle her up, and go. This is warmer than other one-pieces, and pairs well with footed pajamas. It’s also not too bulky, so she can be in her car seat and wear this. My baby also hates hats, so the hood is really nice.
• Fuzzy Socks: With one or two occasions as the exceptions, we’ve only used these socks. They are fuzzy, and I leave them totally unrolled, and pulled up her leg, like tall socks. They stay on pretty well, too!
• Nursing Pillow: This pillow. My baby would only nurse in the football hold for the first month, and I could flip this over (so the bumps were on the bottom), clip it, and turn it to the side to make this easier. I use it the same way, now, but with the traditional hold. I’ll be honest, though. I’m a lazy (prefer to be hands, free) nurser. I’ll set her on the flat side, and just prop her head closer with whichever knee is on the same side as her head. It works great. She naps on this a lot, too, but it allows me to sit anywhere and still snuggle. Also, I can put my arms under it, and carry her, if need be, without waking her up.
• Knitted Snuggle Sack: A friend from Virginia made this for our baby, and boy has it been great. This plus the outerwear is enough for pretty cold temperatures. Also, she finds it super cozy. sometimes, we just stick on her if she needs to nap, but won’t. Puts her out every time (our baby loves being snuggly). Easy to get on and off, too.

Nope List:

• Baby Powder: Honestly, I’m not even sure what to use this for. Between the soothing bottom wash, and the rash cream, we’ve not used this more than once. But, if you want to use it, Honest is a great place to et it from, in my opinion.
• Straight Jackets: I thought these looked great—easy to use. It also so happened that my newborn baby loved a tight swaddle. This product did not get more than one use, however. See, baby has been able to roll onto her side (arm stopping her from rolling onto her tummy) since literally day one. In these strapped-down suckers, her arm couldn’t stop her, so this was a no-go for us.
• Hair Bows: I even bought one that I thought was really cute for my baby announcement. And maybe I will one say when she’s a toddler, and has more hair. See, I think there are plenty of respectable (and gaudy as all get out) bows that I see people put on their babies. And I think they look fine. But I hate bows on my baby. And she hates things on her head. I’ve used one bow, once, for like 15 minutes. I thought it looked awful. Not sure why (I say it’s like make up on a person with flawless skin: pointless, and takes away from the natural beauty).
• Socks: Babies don't’ keep socks on (unless you na pull them up to almost their knees). It’s practically impossible. Also, my baby lives in footies, so…
• Shoes: For a baby so young, and who can’t even walk, these are cute, but totally a waste of money. I bought some cute kitty booties, and I knew they wouldn’t stay on long. You know how long they stayed on? Less than 30 seconds. I was going for at least a few minutes. Nope.
• Other Toys: Until recently, we were the only things she was really interested in. There is especially no need to get toys for when they are 1 or 2 years old, or older (the ones I have are just ones from my childhood). They just take up space, and are useless right now.
• Over-the-Head Onesies: I was really nervous about having a newborn, because of the wobbly head thing. Even when I was less nervous, or my husband was dressing her, we didn’t put her in these, because they are so much more difficult to wear with that a snap, or sip-up pajama.
• Weather Inappropriate Clothes: We got a lot of this at our baby shower. In all fairness, it’s hard to get appropriate things a season ahead of schedule. However, we use almost none of it, because it would have required putting another layer on over anyway.

Maybe List:

• Baby Box: I bought this because it was relatively cheaper, and mobile, and I didn’t know how my baby would prefer to sleep. Although, in the first month/month-and-a-half, we were able to have her nap in it, which was nice, she soon got to where she’d wake up when we placed her in it, and get made that she was on the floor, essentially. We haven’t used it as a bed more than once in the last mont or so, and that was just at a family party. It’s great for travel, if you need a napping place, and it’ll be great for storage, but our baby is just too addicted to snuggles to have it really work out. We co-sleep with a side-car crib now.
• Hats: Get one or two if you think they are cute, but otherwise, just stick with hooded outerwear. My baby, again, hates hats, so we’ve only used them half a dozen times.

My Allergies

I assume, if you're reading this, that you're wondering how a horrifically allergic person is keeping a cat, or maybe you just want to know more about my allergy situation in general. The first bit will be a total history, but if you just want to know about my allergies and Wendy, skip past the italic part) Here it goes:

[I've always been mildly allergic to cats. I couldn't notice it unless I spent a lot of time in their face, but it was there. Then, as I grew older, at about 17 years old, my allergies got much worse. This was very upsetting to me as my main passion in life is cats (not really joking very much there).

When I'd visit home from college, I had to take allergy pills. However, I eventually had to start taking Claritin-D in 2014, because my allergies were unbearable.

It was clear to me that I couldn't have a cat.

In early-mid 2015, however, we had the opportunity to take my brother-in-law's puppy, which he could no longer keep. I was excited! Gryffin (the puppy) was an Australian Shepherd--long-haired, double coated....doberman and labs, with their slick hair made me get little hives until I washed my hands. This would be a great alternative. We visited Gryffin every other weekend that summer, in preparation to take him when we moved to pet-friendly housing in August.

The day I picked him up, my mom was in town, so I rode in the back with him to our house. Weirdly, I was super sneezy, and my eyes were itchy and watery. How had so much cat allergen gotten on the dog's stuff?

As the next two or three days came and went, my allergies only got worse, and I got hives from touching Gryffin. I decided to see an allergist, praying that there was no way I was allergic--I mean, I'd seen this dog every other week all summer with no problems.

Much to my dismay, I was terribly allergic to dogs. Puppies don't really produce the allergens, and, as they age, they produce more. In the few weeks since I'd seen him, he had gone over my allergen-limit. Unfortunately, due to not being able to touch him, and him having 15 years or so ahead of him, I decided to re-home him. I could handle the other stuff, but not the hives. (I still get hives from our plush ottoman, despite it having been cleaned). The only plus to this revelation was that I wasn't getting more and more allergic to cats--instead, my parents kept getting more and more dogs, and all of them together were making things worse for me; not just cats.

I now get 2 immunotherapy shots (one is cats, dogs and weeds, the other is for every tree...yeah, turns out I'm allergic to everything.), three times a week, and it makes going into pet homes totally fine.I also have some amazing eyedrops for instant relief, and two nasal sprays. With it, I was fine going home for two weeks with three dogs, and my cat, Chrissy sleeping on me. Only the last 3-4 days did I really have to make sure to use my eye drops.]

So, how I am able to keep a cat?

Well, first, they don't give me hive (which is the only reason I re-homed Gryffin). Also, I am almost to my maintenance dose in immunotherapy. This means my body is better able to handle the allergens. The end-result should be my ability to happily, and healthily, live with pets (though I probably shouldn't get like 5 of them).

I have a HEPA filter in my room, and it is a pet-free zone. Period. Wendy doesn't like this, but I have to be firm, because otherwise I'll maybe die, or something. Also, I'm keeping her out of our second bedroom, so I have more than one cat-free space. The shot-giver I asked about keeping Wendy suggested I take Zyrtec, and I can go back on nasal sprays if it really becomes an issue. Wendy will also be bathed weekly to cut down on allergens. Sorry, Wendy. You're life will be really cushy otherwise.

So far, I've only taken an allergy pill twice. Each day is different. Some days I'm just great, others, I get sniffly quickly.

There you have it, how I'm able to keep a cat.

If you're interested in our cat, Wendy's, rescue story, you can read that here, and watch her rescue video here.